first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
