Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
