She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
