Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
