this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
