The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Come on in and take your pants off
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