He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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