Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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