your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
