3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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