Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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