yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
