Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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