So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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