Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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