went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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