Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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