Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
She swung at the pinata with crutches
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
