So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
