He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!