Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
why do cheetos always look like penises
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Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
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She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.