I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.