goodnight i made you a song goodbye
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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