So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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