I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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