someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
