Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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