dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
