***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
