I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
