YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
