PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You're like the curious george of whores
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
