if you like me you must not know who I am
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
