Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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