ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
