Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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