There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
