Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
