woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
