But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
