You just made me feel so damn special
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
