My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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