Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
