Don't make out with my wife yet
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
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