You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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