what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
