So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
