ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
