haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
