don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
