So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
