I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
