the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
