I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
