I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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