i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
