On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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