I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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