So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
