Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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