drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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