It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
