I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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