dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
