i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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