Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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