He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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