whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
