I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
