I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
