He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
